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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26859337">Armrest</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheFoolsKnight/pseuds/TheFoolsKnight'>TheFoolsKnight</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Last Hours Series - Cassandra Clare, The Shadowhunter Chronicles - Cassandra Clare</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Heart-to-Heart, M/M, Mild Hurt/Comfort</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-08 20:29:08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,313</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26859337</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheFoolsKnight/pseuds/TheFoolsKnight</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>One day at the Academy, Thomas offers a few words of advice to Alastair. Years later, when he is alone with Thomas on a rooftop, Alastair can’t help but think of those very words.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Alastair Carstairs/Thomas Lightwood</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>84</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Armrest</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Thomas couldn’t help but stare in surprise when Alastair crossed the lawn and leaned against the wall next to him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t stare,” Alastair quipped, sticking his spear into the ground and watching his friends soar together. “You looked pathetic standing here all alone. Got no one to train with?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“All my friends got expelled,” Thomas said. “You of all people know that.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I do.” Alastair’s eyes flickered down to Thomas, who had been leaning against the wall, a staff held loosely in one hand, for the past half an hour or so. The person who was assigned to spar with him had rammed him into the ground within five minutes and then left to join his friends. “I just wonder why no one wants to fight with you. Maybe they don’t want to fight a child.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Thomas glowered at him. “I’m not a child. I’m only a year younger than you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Alastair snorted at that. “And yet, you’re as tiny as a bug.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Thomas straightened, brought himself to his full height and glared at Alastair, but the other boy only shot him a dismissive glance, as if he were simply a fly. “You shouldn’t say such things, you know. Maybe someday I’ll be taller than you. Maybe you’ll be the smaller one, staring up at me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Alastair only quirked an unperturbed eyebrow, tilting his head and taking in Thomas’s form. Thomas couldn’t help the dizzying rush of blood to his face. It was strange, really, the way he reacted to Alastair’s attention. Perhaps it was because Alastair was the only one paying attention to him in this dreary school. And Alastair’s attention was never a good thing.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Yet, a small part of him knew exactly what he was feeling, and Thomas couldn’t help but feel as if he was being a traitor to his friends.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You, taller than me?” Alastair snorted and rested his elbow on Thomas’s head. Thomas wished he didn’t do that - not because it proved whatever point Alastair was trying to make about his height, but because of the touch himself. Matthew would laugh at him - no, wait. Matthew would </span>
  <em>
    <span>scorn </span>
  </em>
  <span>him. He wasn’t supposed to like the person who bullied his friends. Yet, Thomas remembered the way Alastair had looked when his father never came to visit, his face when he thought no one was watching, and wanted to believe that Alastair was a good person under all the harsh words.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Look at you,” Alastair said coolly. “I could use you as an armrest.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Alastair laughed, and strangely, the traitorous part of Thomas wanted to laugh along.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The words that Thomas had said long ago now spun around in Alastair’s mind, leering at him.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Maybe someday I’ll be taller than you. Maybe you’ll be the smaller one, staring up at me.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>He had never expected both those things to come true.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The night air over the building was cool, and Thomas and Alastair leaned against the low wall of the roof, waiting for Lucie and Cordelia to return from whatever errand they had to run. Alastair had only come along because Cordelia had asked him to. He never expected to be left alone with Thomas Lightwood of all people.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Thomas was staring into the distance, the moonlight turning his hair into liquid bronze, bringing out the subtle hollows of his cheekbones and accentuating his jawline. Thomas was handsome, he realised, maybe even more so than Charles.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Thomas was also much better a person than Charles…</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But Alastair couldn’t go there - it was too soon, given what happened with Charles. Also, he didn’t know whether Thomas was like him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Thomas’s eyes flickered down to Alastair, and he turned his head towards him. “What?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Alastair shook his head, abruptly looking away. “Nothing. What’s taking them so long?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Thomas shrugged. “I don’t know. But they’ll be safe for sure. There’s nothing of danger nearby.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Alastair narrowed his eyes at Thomas. “What do you know about this rendezvous of theirs?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Thomas winced. “I’m afraid I can’t tell you. Sorry.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Alastair’s lips twitched, and that was the only sign he planned on giving to show his indignance. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Beside him, Thomas tilted his head up. “It’s a nice night.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I noticed,” Alastair said dryly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Some would say it’s romantic.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Alastair frowned. What was Thomas trying to imply?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Like your friend Matthew?” Alastair drawled.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I wish you two wouldn’t fight so much.” Thomas shifted, looking a little uncomfortable. “Whatever happened was years ago. You both ought to let it go.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, Matthew clearly doesn’t plan on letting it go.” Alastair turned away. It seemed that no matter what he did, the mistakes of his past would keep coming after him. “And I don’t care about what he thinks. I plan on leaving after Layla’s marriage. You can live in peace from then on.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Leave?!” Thomas jolted and stood up straight. “But why?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What do you care if I leave?” Alastair stared a long moment at Thomas’s confounded face. Thomas might be smart in the laboratory, but he clearly had the intelligence of a baby goat when it came to such matters.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, Cordelia would miss you,” Thomas said, looking a little nervous. “Your mother and father would miss you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Alastair let out a derisive snort, but Thomas didn’t seem to notice.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And I think Charles would miss you, too.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t think Charles cares for me anymore,” Alastair grumbled. Why was talking to Thomas so difficult?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Alastair sighed. “Look, I just don’t want to stay here, okay?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But </span>
  <em>
    <span>why?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Alastair chewed on the inside of his cheek for a moment, then said in a low voice, “Remember when you told me that someday I could be the smaller person?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Thomas frowned, but nodded nonetheless.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Alastair gestured to the two of them. “Well, here we are. And you were right. You’re the bigger person now. You’re kinder, and more admirable, and a much better person than I can hope to be.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Alastair stared resolutely ahead. He could feel Thomas’s intense gaze on him, but he wouldn’t dare look.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And I- I don’t have a place here. Once you earn a label, you can never hope to get rid of it. No matter what I do now, I’ll always be a bad person. I’ll always be a bully to you and your friends.” The night was silent. Alastair swallowed. “Do you understand now?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Maybe,” Thomas said in a low voice. “But I believe you’re entirely wrong.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Alastair’s head whipped towards Thomas. He was staring at Alastair, his dark eyes shining bright in the moonlight.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What do you think of my father, Alastair?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Alastair blinked. He stood silent for a few moments, dumbfounded, then said, “I think he’s an honourable man.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He wasn’t always one,” Thomas said, his eyes faraway. “He did worse things than spread rumours about people. He told me so himself. He told me what kind of a person he was, and how he changed when he went to Spain. I believe you can be a better person. You are already a much better person than you were at the academy.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Alastair stared.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re a better person now, and I believe that that matters much more than the person you were before,” Thomas concluded, his gaze falling back to Alastair.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Alastair shifted under his gaze, and chose to look into the distance instead. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thanks for believing in me, I suppose,” he muttered, low enough that he wasn’t sure Thomas heard him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I </span>
  <em>
    <span>am </span>
  </em>
  <span>taller than you now,” Thomas mused, and if he had heard Thomas, he was clearly ignoring it. “I suppose I was right about that, too.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Alastair was silent, and turned an incredulous gaze on Thomas when he felt his arm rest over his shoulder.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Look at you,” Thomas said with a wry smile and laughter in his voice. “I could use you as an armrest.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>This time, the two of them laughed together.</span>
</p>
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